CHEMICAL LOCHA

When asked to define 'love' people turn Tagore or Keats . Some would go on to answer it's something from the heart. Few would start ' well its like if you are getting attached with somebody's gestures , like smiles , and many more then it's 'love' else 'factuation' or 'lust'.

Now there are a few interesting things about all these 'love' club members . first , every one will know these terms 'love' 'lust' and 'factuation' , even if their english is rusty. And the second , everybody will have their own definition for all these .

And me ?? .. i feel it's all chemical locha !! . Had it not been for the harmones , none would have had this feeling of 'love' ... Why then does a bull not fall in love with a cow? (it never tries to impress!!) .... And the basis of differentiation , it's one's conscience , nothing else .

The song " mera dil bhi itna pagal hain .. ye pyar toh tumse karta hain " should have been like " mere harmones bhi itne asarda hain ... ye pyar toh tumse karvate hain "

Funny but admirable , my friends have had commitments worth mention .

Parlok .... such a chweet boy , cho chy !! ... never even dared to call his girlfriend 'darling' or atleast 'dear' . Confused , ended up calling her 'moti' though she was so lean . imagine their talks

" Moti !! make it fast !! we are getting late for the movie "

" ya parlok , a few minutes more "

Bandan , i rem , had a sweet love story . He met this girl at a symposium ,got to talk to her again and again , fell to her politeness . And everyday before we boarded the bus he would buy a cadbury to share with her in college . what a chemical locha !! . But the thing about him that really left me speechless was that one day when we were relaxing on our house roof ,bandan told me that he couldnot afford to continue it and needed to be focused on his career . I felt he was another loser , but he proved me wrong .

Kaurav and Ranbaxy had a great time too . Ranbaxy would address kaurav saying " aji , oji , haan ji ". I initially misunderstood it , thought that this was her way of addressing people . Dint want to appreciate it , could not criticise it . I feared that if we ever happen to hang out for a movie , and incase she were to call me aloud

" ji late ho rahe hain , movie chalu hone pe hain "

... gash!! i avoided !! ... but then , when the vey simila moment arrived , though i lost a beat , she called out

" oye ! kahan tha , movie chalu hone pe hain "

oye!!! ...

" phew ! public me watt toh nahi lagi... bach gaya !! "

I realised , it was her way of refering to kaurav . Though funny , i still admire it .

Pishab and Munnimita !! ... Pishab though being fair and rational had peculiar tough times . Well he had to spend much of his time driving away miscreants. " Dude ! you really need a veerappan moustache " .

Ashant and Kablasha !! .. the JHAs !! ... my goodness!! ... Am sure Ashant wants a girl as righteous girl as good as SITA or SAVITRI ... Somebody tell him that he needs to be as good as RAM for that !! .

Chemical locha !! surely kept so many things happening in my circle , very small above narrated examples testify to it. Unfotunately, many were not lucky to have sweet times like all those mentioned above had .

And , the song "mera dil bhi " better be as it is !! ...

PS : NAMES CHANGED FOR THE SAFETY OF THE WRITER :)

Bed Time " Good Night !! "

Docs , psychologists and other experts always comment on a person's nature basing upon opinions , thoughts , habits and lots more . How many of these bother to ask about their bed time , sleeping , habits ?? ... sleep time habits are really watch worthy .

Bandan , a close friend , was quite known for his sober and gentle nature . Not even a heated discussion , as far as i remember , he has ever landed into . So pleasing , isn't it ?? . But then , while at deep sleep few realities came out . The boy talked every night , some times giggles , some times outburst of frustration , anguish , pain and even expression of love ... Many a times it has so happened that all those who shared the room with him sat up , amazed ... more than enjoying , i have worried for him , i must say , else will be misunderstood ...

Few person sleep stiff , all the night . Parlok , chushkar and Aada are the best examples to it . If one day they had their hands layed over their eyes then the other day they will have it burried ...

sorry , i revealled it !!..

Guys like Pishab are precious and rare to find . They expand in sleep .. ya , he really did ! ... well at times we had to share a bed for four among seven . The bed had two matresses , joined . At night everybody slept occupying equal spaces , but in the morning ,the distribution would be like pishab and kaurav on one matress and four on the other , with the seventh guy sharing both the matresses . And its not kaurav's fault .

Kaurav and Farthik ... hah!! ... They, to some , would look like a homicide case whereas ,to others , a wonder as to who is lying on whom ,... is it the bed over the boy ?? is it the pillow from the bedsheet , into the legs ?? ....

My award , it's for Marun , the big boy , lying on his cot looks very much like brave warrior martyred ... achilles !! ...

The dropped out list includes Psycho Singh , Ajhib Jhosh and Bhujwal. Psycho's sleep cycle is actually not at all human's , infact it resembles those of polar bear's ... yes , he has a hibernation cycle ... sleeps for a few days and then stays awake for a few ... And Ajhib ! he has turned nocturnal to find a date , online !! . Bhujwal , is a pefect classroom napper . well it should not be abused as nap ... a perfect sound sleep short of snore !! ... and he ! while asleep on the bench looks like .... Dr. B.R.AMBEDKAR fast asleep .....

Sleep gesture speaks a lot . Humour aside , it talks about state of mind, insecurity , uncertainity,anxiety, lots more ... At the end its upto the Doctors to show interest !!

PS : NAME CHANGED FOR PERSONAL PRIVACY :)

Dedicated girlfriend ; Rebellious wife

What might have been going on in Almighty's head when he thought of creating girls ?!! ... And with the advent of metropolitan culture things have turned quite notice worthy .

A girl seems to be very much careful and interested in her boyfriend's habits. Every where they go , her eyes are set on her boyfriend's . When he sweats , she would held her handkerchief out .. " honey !! wipe your face ... here , use this " .... At a restaurant if he happens to soil his dress then again its her , to the rescue .... " cho chweet !! .. isn't it ?? " ... So much attentive and caring she turn that she , now , starts to change herself . If its pink that he loves then so be it . If it is karvachoth , she had never practised or seen anyone practising , then so be it . If it means to turn vegetarian then so be it . Interestingly , this act of her , the self modification , is appreciated by everybody . And all seems so right full ...

when a few girls begin their girlie talk ... " hi dear !! hows your ...?? you understand right ?? "
" he's doing just fine " " am so worried "
And those envious .." hey how's your herbivore ?? " "herbivore ??!! " " ya !! herbivore .. if a veggie can turn another veggie then he surely deserves to be called herbivore "

Interestingly , things after marriage are not so beautiful . Now , a girl ,who turns lady , suddenly turns otherwise . To her , now , self modification seems to be an insult to her way of life . She rebels ... " why did you marry me when you knew ... blah ! blah ! blah! " .. and sometimes things so even worse .The appreciative nature turns to a ridiculous one ..

" You are lucky to have me . All those X , Y and Z tried hard one me ... you should be gratefull " ... " Had i been married to X , or Y , or Z he would have kept me happy evry moment " ....

Guys are to be blamed . Why did you have to try on a girl ,valueing certain virtues, when you new these were just superficial ?? And girls !! Why did you get so desparate to have a relation that you had to end up in strains at later times ?? ... Well things are reserved for the right age .... after it is rightly said "primitve ripening seldom helps" ...

PS: THIS IS NOT THE CASE WITH ALL , HOPE FOR THE BEST FOR ALL THOSE WHOSE RELATION IS HAVING HARD TIMES. NO ONE IN PARTICULAR IS TARGETTED .

JOBMETER

Why does a jobmeter have to creep in every time you decide on your profession?? . Isn't it the time to renew the scale ??Everytime you decide on your future ... an intervention ... son ! you cannot do this , what respect does that command ?? ...

wonder why few things are considered unethical !! or say , few things are credited unnecessarily !!

Jobs like that of a TEACHER , DOCTOR , ENGINEER or other services command heavy respect whereas a business is not so appreciated .why ?? ...

what does a teacher do ?? ... goes to an institute , struggles for the whole day reciting the same old line over and over again , daily ...

" Gooodd morrrningg studentsssss .......!! "

" PAY YOUR ATENTIONN ..!! " ......" SILENCE !!! "

Almost every teacher has to check for attendance in one or the other class . Prior to that few even are made to conduct an assembly programme , in a desciplined manner .... but what is it thats going on in the hall ? .. well while praying , one is busy winkin, the other giggling ; one is so lost that he or she stands facing a side of his choice , the other is busy burying his finger deep inside the nose .... And a teacher has to check all these. And not jus these .... whole day's mischiefs and quarrels between student , their regularity .... keepin a check on all these . goodness!! .... And if all this dint make you feel sick .. then jus imagine a more worse part ... a teacher is busy teaching when few restless guys make it to the dias and in melacholy

" teacher teacher can i go to toilet .. urgent teacher !! " ... and all of them held out their fist with the small finger pointing towards the sky ....

wonder who made this hand sign !! ...

Forget teachers , what about those in medical field ?? ... Pathologists ?!! people walk to them and say .. " here ....my pee ... enough? or you need more ?? " .... Dentist ?!!.. patients end up near them openmouthed , with all crap inside ... And their services , blah!! . The fee they charge tells you that they never mean to serve . Psychologists encounter persons who could turn them insane .Physiologists!! .. from dysentry to dengue ; from cold to cholera .. what not ?? ..wonder, how often does he get into a gathering of healthy persons ?!! ..

Engineers . The best example of a degree's miracle ... An engineering job , basically , is a labourer's job . In a factory , with a uniform , struggling with heavy tools ... isn't that a labourer's job ?? ... And what respect does a labourer have ?? ...Hardly does anybody offer them a seat , on a visit . Few offer a glass of water and the rest , rude ... And incase of an engineer , same job , an additional degree ... whoa !! the treatment as good as at in-laws ....

Few with business have made it big in life . Few , have made it big with things , unapproved by orthodox society.... Imagine Shahrukh with a long Beard , or Amitabh in a Saffron outfit ... could they have made it big in tinsel world , with such an outfit or idealogy ??

When every profession has its own odds and evens . It never is fair to declare one as superior to the other . And it's never fair to sport a JOBMETER

Dont say "it's LOVE"

Love . What is love ? ... O!! people have great answers to this question . And few , they might sound like the eleventh commandment .... Holy !! ..

Well , you actually never care for it , if life is meadows for you ....

It's first year , fresh and lively at college. Guys and gals both are quiet mischievious. Everytime a gal passes by few mouths turn watery . When at hostel after the day's strain guys gather in hostel room and start what i call " our queen contest " on a daily basis .

" dude the girl at the counter was awesome ! "...

" well i found the one at the lab in red dress mindblowing " ...

"ooh!! wish i could date the one in yellow and blue "

And these girls !! ... not to be forgotten... don't fall behind in any aspect . Most do the same , gather in a hostel room , recollect every beast and dude they came across and start their "kewl dude debate "

" My Gash ! he was so tall and macho , i couldn't stop staring ( with mouths wide open ) "

" and i wish i could be with the guy in offwhite shirt , on a beach with he holding me firmly"

" oh ! my ! ... how romantic!!"

Time passes , by now a few manage to have their dreammate . Well the drama part behind this ... rediculous ... while, one begins hittin on a gal ,his friend broke up with , the other is seriously aiming at his friend's girlfriend's colleague... Same is vice versa .

Well few seem to maintain lists .. if it is not this gal/guy, then will try for the next one... and eventually try out on many , before they find one . Few cry over the phone , to impress , and many a few quit what is said to be a dirty habbit by a gal.

All set ... it's time for the show . Guys , fixed up , group together and decide to move to a rent house . It helps . Nobody will mind if a girl comes and stays all the night .So is the case with gals .Those into relationship have this understanding ... "okay babes !! u all have to adjust in a room ... understand buddy , he'll be here for the night " ....

few desperates breakup with their partner , and with in months ,or even worse weeks , patch up with their ex- partner's friend .... gash! what a friend !! ...

'So much is this that if there were any chemical which would spread to a person's

partner and turn their faces blue forever then surely many faces would turn blue

within half a decade

What respect did you give your partner , when you carried out your romance in a room with your friends in the other ? What explaination do you intend to give when you get immoral in public ?? And what reason will you be giving for your ways of trying out for a girlfriend?

Dont say "it's LOVE "

PS : THIS HIT OUT IS NOT AT ANYBODY IN PARTICULAR , AND IS ALSO BELIEVED TO BE HAPPENING WITH ONLY A FEW . AND WITH ALL THOSE WHO HAD A SIMILAR LIFE , UNITENTIONALLY , I SAY "GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD ! "

STYLE ' ACHE

Watch a fashion show ...these dresses!! ... one would seem to be pile of bricks covering the essentials ... somebody tell these designers that backless lady's outfit is equally sensual... and the other would look like worn leaves lying on the model to cover her up !! .. these designers!!

why are these dresses designed ?

may be somebody may answer saying that these help to run magazines , shows and lots more ,in short, helps generate huge money . But at the end of the day when a commoner cannot get into these and go out in public , then they turn out to be useless .

Imagine if you were to meet a girl , for a date . You book a table at an exotic restaurant , get a few candles arranged for the special event . And then u see her hand approaching the door , to walk in . Slowly , you raise from your seat .The door opens , she walks in .But what do u see ...

your girlfriend has got a hair cut , so peculiar , that a lash falls on her right eye , her lipstick thick and dark as metallic purple , a gown sort of wear which literally helps the sweeper with his job , a belt that seems to be a rope wrapped around her waist , and a python sort of dupatta...

The dress catches everyone's eye and leave them in giggles .Do you think you both are gonna seek everyone's attention to tell them that it was designed by, say,

Manish malhotra !!
How much ever impractical these designer's might have been , one thing they have managed to do is to spoil our traditional culture . People shamelessly sport an undergarment and boast of it . Seems like everybody has lost it . Wonder things would turn so rediculous that fruits and vegetables might get into our wears someday . And when Mrs . Xyz happens to meet Mrs. Lmn in a party she would begin

" Helllo Mrs.Xyz ! what a nice necklace, the red coloured thing must be pomegrante ... really beautifull !! .. but whats that yellow thing ??" ...reply - " how could you not recognize it , Mrs. Xyz .... its Sweet Corn pea!! ... "

KANGANA : THE BEWDI DIVA

Cigarrette in her mouth , a deep breathe in, and then ,the big exhale ... unattentive , least cared , is busy on the phone .... and when it's the time ... off she throws her cigarrette and her phone ... sets her foot on the ramp , one after the other they proceed and set the ramp ablaze ...
And when at the audience's end she stretches her arms , looks towards the sky ... Gash !! .. even the angels up there must have envied and shied !! ...
By now , it must have been clear that the diva i am talking about is Kangana Ranawat . Madhur Bhandarkar offered her a side role , very firm one , and she did a justice to her role .... "Riped mangoes taste better" .. yes! she has aged as a 'FRUSTRATED' actress and this is why she could do justice to her role in 'FASHION' .
Her role in 'GANGSTER' was not much different . For no genuine reasons she messed her life.... I ask " why the hell was she bewildered so much ?? was it because shiney's busy schedules hindered the idea of a try out at 'jodi kamal ki' ??
Her performance in 'A life in a METRO'... Gash!! ... i always wonder , was that the only role offered to her?? or , was it that she was so delighted to find such a charachtered role that she actually asked for it ??
Well i am certain that she must have fasted for days and actually begged for the charachter in 'WO LAMHE' . Gotta find out if she threw a party and offered offerings in a temple when her role was finalized?
Whatever her roles might have been , one thing is certain that her bewildering charm and beauty is her only armour which will help her withstand all odds in career ...After all bollywood has lots to offer to every charismatic diva.... even a bewdi diva ...

Rules Are Must

Four years in a college with suffocating rules and regualtions ?! ... Gash!! i still wonder how did time pass by . Ah ! these rules ! .. cannot talk to a girl , cannot wear imfromal dresses , cannot carry mobile ,cannot do this , cannot do that ... what not ?!!
Girls , ooh!! , have always been the foremost topic of gossips among guys . So might guys have been among girls . So much was the eager to patch up , that often rumours about affairs and cross affairs started bloomin , simultaneously did those of break-ups . Stories about couples caught smooching in public , or even more , started comming to light. These were followed by sensual romantic stories . I ,even today, believe that if the best of those stories were penned and published then they would turn out to be the best sellers . But the most important thing about all these was that our college was strict enough to keep these things in check . All those stories running inside our college when discovered were dealt with severity , and i never felt it's need.
Today when i am out of my college , i feel that they were right . Whenever i come across students of other colleges , i realize it better . The other day when i was with an old friend of mine . I learnt that things turned so immoral in their college that it would be of no surprise if a guy's hand were getting deep inside a girl's wear in , say a library . GOD ! ... the very moment i heard of it one single thought came to my mind ... " even a strayed dog had this morality of not to go ahead with a bitch within the college premises "
... 'freewill' mortgaged for 'life' yeilded good , and the otherwise did the opposite to a farther extent ....

Turn on : Public display of affection

Evening time , and surtis are out of their home . Gathering along every nook and corner of stalls , lined along the dumas road. But then there is something spicy creeping up too . Along dumas chopati or even in parks couples gather to start something i say ' dual entertainment' ... self and viewer's ... there is a beautifull chemistry going on among these couples . They have their own unspoken rules . I believe the first is " Do not stare at my partner . What would you expect one to react when spotted or being watched ?? ... well here they take a great pride . somewhere within their heart they feel a "DiCaprio and winslet" ...so when u close in as a viewer , be assured you'll be entertained to the fullest . The only risk is you run into is a cop mishap , you could probably be hearing a cop warning you " DONT DISTURB THEM , YOU IDIOT!!".... ya , i can understand why do these cops let them carry on .
The other day , me and my pal , ended up in a park with no where else to go. tired of walkin across when we sat to rest . The first thing that we faced was an unusual stare ." Sitting in the romance zone ? are they .... ?? " was probably what was in their minds . And by the time we realized what our neighbouring benchers where upto , cops arrived .They shouted from a distance " guys come over here " ... whom did he mean? ... was it us , me n my pal ? ... ya , the call was for us . And on a very unusual pretext we were indirectly asked to leave ,whereas the couples were least perturbed.
And before we left , we managed to look and realize what actually was the gal , sitting on her guy's laps and facing him , was doing if they were not jus kissing ... after all public romance is Dual Entertainment ...

yes , we can

celebrations !! ... joy bursting out !! .. n y is tat ?? jus because obama made it to ta white house !!
why are these black power issues creeping up ? do these blacks thing that obama is gonna give them a free ration voucher or ne reservation like 23% for ivory dark guys, 12.5% for black origin and 7.5% for ta rest coloured ??.... n y do we being an indian have to feel great about him ?? remember , we did ta same even when Mr.Bush was elected and its cause of his erratic , the whole world's economy felt tremors as good as 9.5 on richter's scale . Frankly , cause of him , indirectly , i m forced 2 remain jobless till now
Obama cannot choose to be unique, financial constrains , previous foreign terms n many more things are not gonna let him be at his will .... he jus cannot carry bags of grains to kenya ( land of his forefathers ) to feed the needy ... neither can he reduce the inspection on muslims , which is so shamefull , just because its so unethical or , say more , because he is one nor can he dilute CIA's rigorous efforts to curb communism in south america ... i see in him a chained man , who , fortunately , can speak , can breed ideas, but will never be able to materialize them .... i say , consider them ta same ... yes , we can and we must..