THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : HASTA LA VISTA

I was not paid for my work , though appreciated . I asked once , they turned me down , and i never asked again . I will not , i follow this rule

" I'll ask , i'll Remind , but i'll not Beg "

Unfortunately , Neither NAVEEN , nor JOHN , nor RIMPY , was paid. I quit the job , soon many did . And finally the rules changed . They , the trio , had to comply . They offered to pay a minimum salary even if requirements were not met out . This is fairer , though not completely . Because , fortunes cannot be the basis of salary . They can only be the basis for rewards . We worked , we supposed o be paid . We could not meet targets . And this doesnot mean that we work for free !!

I wish i had some written , evidences of my work . I could have done anything , by fair means ..

PS : HASTA LA VISTA !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : BOYZONE

The story many a times crossed the working hour limits , location too !!

• Road Trip to Kamrej

Once , out of excitment, I and NAVEEN blessed our Managers ... Ya , now i strongly believe that we actually blessed them . They needed somebody to travel all the way to KAMREJ to collect an EMI cheque from a TALUQDAR at TALUQDAR OFFICE .

EMI liya hain toh bharna hi padega !!!

Those days both of us often repented for being born short of wings . We were eager to fly ..

So , I and NAVEEN , very excited , open heartedly accepted to the request and set off . The best part : we were so much excited that we dint even bother to collect the office address , also were under the illusion that we have to go to KIM . Dint even bother to listen the name of the place properly . Even today , i wonder , how did we mistake KIM for KAMREJ , cause they dont even sound the same . And where is KIM ?? ... NAVEEN knew it !! How do we get there ?? I knew a way other than the highway route . The RANDER route .

Kick kick boodoomm !!! ... first gear .. and .. on the way JAI and VEERU !!!

On the way , we stopped at many a places . First break was at a junction . We stopped for puffs and cold drink . NAVEEN is a good driver , i mean rider , .. no , driver ... gash !! .. am confused !! ... have you ever seen a bike driver ?? ... lol !!! .. okay whatever !! ..

In our circle we had two bike drivers , NAVEEN and GAURAV . While the former's silence tells us how great he feels riding a bike , the later's only talent , non stop blabber, does it all . And many a times , watching these mythological movies , i wonder how many ages he might have meditated to have been bestowed with such a talent .

Huh !! forget it .. Where were we ?? ... ya , on the bike .. heading towards KIM ..!!

The day , bright sunny , we were totally tired , paused many a times to quench our thirst . I , had done camping , way back in school . It was there that i learned the way of quick body cooling . And so , was regularly drenching my sandel . Keeping tight contact with my sandel , as long as the water stays cool , and when it turns hot , letting air pass through between the foot and the sandel . Similarly , drenching my ears ... !!

Finally , we reached KIM . We asked localites about the address , People were guiding us ahead , one guy , second guy and then the third guy . I wonder , with such a small town , cant people even realize that this address is atleast of their town or not ?? ... well , they could not . And guess , it was only the sixth or the seventh person , we asked , realised that the address is not of their town . i.e, the locality we were asking for was not in KIM !!! .... Then , we called PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM !! and then realised where were we supposed to go exactly . The trip , then turned smooth . We chose the highway , to KAMREJ . On the way , we halted to have Ice Sharbat , I had it for the first time and have been longing to have one , similar , till now ...!!!

• Late night Party

Though our bosses were just pretending , we were all very much enjoying were so attached to each other . As it was expected , a party idea started sprouting !! .. so finally , we all decided to party !! .. I wanted it to be rather simple , but then the guys who have BOOST regularly , were they gonna let that be simple ?? .. how could they ...BOOST effect !! ...

Girls were asked to keep out . Our , Story brewer GAURAV along with NAVEEN made arrangements . I and JOHN maintained silence . Why bother people , who want to strain themselves ?? ... And the idea of , just entering the scene and begin enjoying was working , we preferred not to make it otherwise .

BLUFFMASTER dropped a few worthy drops on the floor and the party began . The idea was that if ever somebody stumbles , the it the floor thats come for rescue .

Patiyala peg lagake , talli ho gaye ... !!

I had made a commitment that i will not booze , until something desirous comes my way , I kept my word , I dint . Biriyani , which i had given a word for , i lived upto it . I thank papa for helping me be committed to my word . He is good at cooking .

It was here , that our beloved GAURAV earned the famous title ' PHEKU ' which we later modified to ' SALIM PHEKU ' after watching the movie ' ANGREZ ' . He claimed capacities of a gladiator boozer but could not match even beginners ... !! Well , JOHN was the was the TAURUS BULL .Abyssmal , he just could not be satisfied ... !! BLUFFMASTER , slowly , while others gossiped , slipped into dream world , i was wondering how could that happen . But then , realised it soon , dont i call him BLUFFMASTER . And the best part is that only a bluffmaster can recognise another . Indeed , Mr. BLUFFMASTER recognized GAURAV ...!!!

PS : GOD SAVE ME FROM GAURAV !!!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : SHAME

All the 150 hours full of fun and drama , had one and only down . Shamefull and frustrating enough to shake the pillars of will , to continue .

Few days before we left , we were having a good time pass . A few of us stepped forward to dance a few steps on the music being played . I , before things began , walked out , to calm my head . NAVEEN joined me too . We walked out , refreshed ourselves , and as we were about to step inside NAVEEN asked for my mobile . I gave it to him , walked inside and sat opposite to PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM ,talking to her . After some time , Naveen walked in , had two mobiles in his hands , handed me mine and joined us . I then left the gossip , and went and sat with other colleagues . I sat right at the corner and laid my back against a pillar , next to me was a vacant seat where Naveen joined me .

Mean while the dance show was on .We applauded , often , cheered and enjoyed . Sitting opposite to me was Mr. BLUFFMASTER . As i started talking to him , from Behind the pillars came HETAL . She asked for sth , did sth which even i dont remember , and left .

After some time GAURAV asked for NAVEEN's mobile , to play a different track . But ... but NAVEEN 's mobile was nowhere to be found . Things took an ugly image .

While the mishap began , Mr. BLUFFMASTER walked out of the office and returned after a while . On returning he started his unnecessary conclusions and advices , which seemed quite disgusting . Also , this triggerred a thought that might be he is the culprit . Though , i dint suspect him at the first instance.

Without wasting a minute I along with NAVEEN , checked every nook and corner of the office . Tired , unfruitful , gave up the search . Then started the suspicion .

Who could have done it ? .
One who had an extra eye on it .
And in this category fell ' HETAL ' and ' SAHIL '
Who left the venue soon after ?
' Mr. BLUFFMASTER ' and ' SAHIL ' .
SAHIL left the venue soon after and did not return .
!!

Soon the suspicious eyes were on SAHIL . NAVEEN had to check his belongings and the search yielded nothing . Things turned real sour when NAVEEN went on to search Mr. BLUFFMASTER , in public , outside office , Damn!! . I , for him searched HETAL , JOHN and RIMPY's belongings.

Later , the managers , tactfull dispersed everybody for the sake of the job and before closing time called a meeting . Everyone was asked to get a clean chit from NAVEEN . The bad thing about this was that it was not done with desire , rather was done to compensate the humiliation Mr. BLUFFMASTER had to face ... poor NAVEEN !! I simpathise with him and stand by his side . Cause this was not fair .

My point was :
Everybody should have proved their innocence immediately rather than giving advices and being searched , on request .

Things started calming down . Soon the thought that took over was that what ever it may be the lost thing is never going to return .... lull followed ...

Later , one day while recollecting the story NAVEEN learned a new thing from me . He was unaware that HETAL had walked to our table from behing the Pillar .... and the expression that followed ... seemed like that of SHERLOCK HOLMES and DR . WATSON ' s , when they found a clue ... !!

And with in few days after many of us quit the job . HETAL showed up with a new mobile , the same one that NAVEEN lost , with a few superficial differences . The suspicious belief grew strong . But ,

Strong belief , after all is a belief and cannot be the reason for absolute certainity .

PS : PITIABLE IS A PERSON WHO BELIEVES THAT HIS CRIME HAS GONE UNNOTICED , FOR THE ALMIGHTY HAS ALREADY SEEN IT .

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : JOB DRAMA 2

If i and Rimpy had such a time , so did others have .

• When NAVEEN , took charge , he would begin self warm-up . More than getting to know about the family , he attended , he preferred to narrate his own story . And the job left for the family was just to nod , or to say ... " well done !! " ... " that's great !!" .

so the conversation would be like

" welcome to exciting holidays . How are you guys doing ?? "
" thank you ... we are doing just fine ... "
" Sir, I am J NAVEEN KUMAR . Did my engg . from SATHYABAMA "
" good"
" MY father is with ESSAR group "
" that's nice "
" I am planning to do my post-graduation , from the US "
" that is a great idea "
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" aha !! "
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" thats fine "
.
.
.
"... ... ..... ... ...... .. ..... .... ..... ..... "
" you are doing a great work , my best wishes for your future "
" thank u sir "
Warm up Finished !!
....this is why it deserves to be called a self warm-up ...

and this warm up .. with every family ...

• While Rimpy handled things with outpours of ' Ha ha ' , JOHN used his weapon
  

" Right Sir .. Right !! "

So when he began

" Welcome to Exciting holidays , once again ... How are you guys doing ?"
" thank you . We are doing fine "
" Right Sir ... Right !! "
" !!! "
"Sir What do you do ? "
" am running a retail outlet at Adhajan "
" Right Sir .. Right !! "
" !!! "

• ANNU , always cheerful , smiling her famous 'ee-ee-ee' smile , always had a soft and sweet conversation . She would just make the family feel pleasant and that is why i called her work as smile talk.
  

" Welcome to Exciting Holidays . Kaise ho aap log ? .. ee-ee-ee ... "
" thank you , all is fyn "
" So what do you Mr. XYZ ? .. ee-ee-ee ... "
" I am a Director "
" ee-ee-ee ... Director !! .. ee-ee-ee .. You Make Movies ?? .. Which one did you make ? ..
"ee-ee-ee "
" Movies !! "

Well , unfortunately she had to pay a heavy price for making such a ... ( better unsaid ) .
At the end , that family bursted in anger and while leaving claimed that Annu's IQ was zero , and adviced our manager not hire such people .
This made us burst into laughter ... even annu laughed !! ... and may be our manager Mr. BLUFFMASTER claimed it rightly " ANNU's brain developed weeks after she was born " ..

Well , well , well .. rumours had that the reason behind his such a comment was not job oriented . And that while Mr. BLUFFMASTER and Ms . PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM where carrying out their Mohabbat - e - jung on the upper floor outlet , with shutters pulled down , ANNU walked in , to interrupt , saying that there was phone call for Ms. PEPSODENT DHUSHOOM DHUSHOOM to attend ...

SHOOT !! She jus spoiled the mood and curtained show , in halfway !!

• when SAHIL started his show .. it was just short of an earthquake ..

" BOOM BADAAAM .. DHUROOOM DHARAAAM !! "

Intensity of his voice , his vigour and the RAVANA like laughter , all together made the creator of earthquakes feel ashamed !!Our Managers should understand this . They should at least get seat-belts to the chair , his families rested on .

• GAURAV , had his own charms , he gets excited to see families with children . He , then quickly associates himself with the kids and then resume calling the Man and the Wife
  

" Uncle Aunty "

One more thing that is quite interesting about him is that he seems to know almost every other family he attends . Even if not every member of the family , he surely knows the Man of the family

.. I jus wonder what kind of people have terms with every kind of people .. better say MAn ;-) ...

Shut Up !! DJ , you dirty mind Devil !!! .. lol !!

PS : TIME TO GET UNDERGROUND

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : JOB DRAMA

While fun was at its peak , so was the job and its requirements . We were required to attend families , give them a presentation for membership . And .. when failed to make them members ... mental harassment ...

The first family that i attended was a disaster . We were given the training . Explained how the families are lured to the office ... Well , its simple !! callcenters called up these families and invited them saying

" Sir / Ma'am ... congratulations , you have won a free gift from our company for the coupon you filled at so and so location . Would you please spare an hour to collect the gift "

Well the real story about these was that they never ever filled any coupon . Unattentive , they dont remember that . Then the other interesting part was that our managers strictly gave intructions to the callcenters , to not to invite any comissioned officer , like cops , and anyone from press ... the question is " WHY ??? " .

And then when these families came in . They were given presentation by us , the consultants .
We were actually trained to fool these families . Block their minds , make them dream , and feel a loss , which wasn't actually , if they were not becoming a member . Well the work was that
when a family came in , one of the member was asked to fill up a form , seeking job description , car and credit card used and a few more things . These information had two uses . First , to set the criteria for paying the callcenters and the other to trigger a warm-up .

Well the consultant's part began with the warm-up ( informal talks ) then the warm-up of the product and introduction to the company and a few more procedures explaining the membership with a few intervals of manager's work namely pre-marketing , where in the gift is explained, and marketing , wherein pricing is done ,and doubt clarification .
In the process , we did many things immoral ... pinch them , hurt their sentiments ... and every possible things to get them into pocket . Shamefull !!

• The day i gave my first presentation ... disaster!! ... immediately after i had finished i turned so weak , that i cunt even utter a word , could not smile , to the least ... In my office , i have always been known as silent and serious . But that day , i must have seemed like a rat !! ..

I had decided to quit , but then thanks to CHE GUEVARA , whom i idealize as angel to help humanity , his saying

" HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPRE "

meaing " until victory , always " .. kept ringing in my ears ... different story , all together .
Well what had actually happened was that when i begani started " welcome to Exciting Holidays" .. well i was expected to talk and have a kind of warm-up with the family . The couple was newly married . I asked them " where did you go for honeymoon . they replied " shimla" .. " okay " i replied .

I had this special tool , the " okay " .. I never bothered to listen or care for the answer ... Put up a question and then think of another . But when i failed to think of a new question , while answer was given out , to avoid a lull .. I used to

nodd my head and utter " Achcha ... Achchchchaaaa !! "
and used to swing my chair or nodd it too ... !!
and then a new question , and it is put forth .

So when the answer " Shimla " was given .. I , nervous , asked them

" so where will you guys go for the next honey moon ? "

... more than me , one should have had a look on their face ..

And then , all of a sudden i remebered my mother's saying " beta ! honesty is the best policy "
I surrendered and said " sorry ! this is my first experience , please dont mind me "
And may be because of this they spared me when i asked them

" how many kids do u have ?"
when i was supposed to keep in mind that they were newly married couple ..

The Family since , poorly uttered was not even regarded properly by our managers and PEPSODENT dhushoom dhushoom !! just drove them away treating badly . Her rude treatment turned me real nervous , cause they retaliated and i had to face their temper and abuse . Though , the family before leaving said me that it wasn't my fault .

Soon , we were too realise that this nature of PEPSODENT dhushoom dhushoom , which cause heavy havocs in the office with many a times familes , our customers , just bursting anf firing ..
Well , she can be forgiven this faults of her could not be completely blamed on her

1. might be , her background .. quite uncivilized one !!
2. may be due to certain mental problems

whatever !!

• RIMPY !! .. lol !! .. The day she gave her first presentation

she began howling " Jo Bole So nihal Sat Sri Akal "

And then she began . Colleagues sitting close to her table just could not resist bursting into laughter .

She started with the procedure ,. Talks less and spends most of her time laughing. This was too avoid short warm up . When ever a little smile worthy joke would sprout she would laugh heavily .. look here and there , show to managers that she's bringing good amount of laughter , which she was required to do ...and .. and .. 5 minutes passed !! ..

And then , the systematic procedure .. she seldom mis-presented .

She would begin with something and realize that she missed something , when she realized this
she the great head ... interrupts and says " just a minute , i'll continue this in a minute i actually forgot to tell that ... " result - family puzzled !!

Once , when she started to show a set of snaps , which we usually said were of Mrs. Pathak's , a fair lie ... She , almost threw the snaps on them , and said in a heavy voice

" Ye Bathroom "
... !! Thanks to Almighty they dint pee in their pants !! ...

And for all these when we were pointed out about our mistakes

• i kept silence and made direct eye contact

• whereas Rimpy .. all " he he ha ha " .. just laughed , and laughed .. and laughed !!And when asked for the reason later on ,she told she was shying ... what a way of shying !! .. jai sardarni !!

PS : GOD SAVE ME FROM RIMPY !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : FUNSKOOL

Our managers tried hard to seem friendly . In their attempt to be so they introduced fun time , better say .. play time .

Things began with Dumb charade .

Everybody , excited , would drag a chair , from nowhere to the highlighted spot . All of a sudden , everyone is so disciplined . Chairs get alligned without a single instruction.. !!

.. khub saras !! khub khush !! .. no work .. khub saras !! khub khush !!

The game begins , our manager Mr. BELLYWALA ( the Sr. Manager ) .. began the game . Every counsellor was called , in turns , and had to act and get others to guess the name of the movie given to him .

First , our Chweet Baby GAURAV . Smart , he got up , pulled up his socks , ...nappies as well ..., and raged to the presumed dias . Got the movie ...

Tick Tick !! .. and , start !!

What !! .. what ! do we see . The first act we see .. Gaurav , indicates the number of words . Then!! .. Then his patent performance !! ... point out a palm horizontally , and then axe on it his other palm vertically ... an absolute indication of split i.e, the symbol of HALF ...

na re na na .. 50 - 50 ... !!
lol!!

Then rises JOHN .. walks straight to Mr. BELLYWALA , gets the movie .. on to dias ..
And what do we see ??!! ... JOHN ... busy, SHYING !!!!.... atleast for half a minute when the alloted time is just two . And then begins his patent . The first wild guess one is supposed to make, when JOHN is on dias busy shying , is that the movie given to him is A rated .

Well , for instance , once JOHN all of a sudden started rubbing his arms and chest ... we cunt make it out .. failed ! he tried to explain that somebody is lying down and somebody else is over the person lying and

.... and the act of JOHN , which followed , am sure aroused a few and is not mention worthy ...
soon , delighted ones burst out guessing .. ' JISM ' .. ' JISM ' ...

RIMPY , sets in , and gals go ga -ga . He ... oops !! i mean she .. oops !! ... he ... aah !! forget it !!

Enough !!, one is not supposed to , make fun of Almighty's mistake .. every time ..

HETAL , usually stayed away . This was decided considering a few issues
1) Weight sustainability of the building
2) and as a result , safety of the people in the building

Well ANNU , the wah bhai wah case , usually ended half of her time smiling ' EE - EE - EE ' . Seeing her smile a few querries stormed my mind .
' Is it beacause of ANNU , the alphabet ' E ' originated ? !! '
and after watching the TATA INDICOMM's add , where people get the habit of spelling 'Hello' every now and then
i asked myself what could have inculcated the habit of ' ee' ing in ANNU ??!!!

If Dumb Charade amused us , so did the one time game of PREFIXES .
We were all asked to write down our favourite movie names . Exchange the chits containing them . Open . And then spell the movie name on the chit ending up with us , but with a prefixed line " meri dhoti me " ...
well gals were not spared . And because of ANNU I had to read aloud

" Meri Dhoti k andar bhul bhulaiyya " .

Cause of me GAURAV had to read out

" Meri Dhoti k andar Rang De Basanti " .

RIMPY had to read out

" Meri Dhoti K andar Across the Universe "

and Annu had to read aloud

"Meri Dhoti k andar Kal ho na ho "

thanks to Naveen and John ...

SCRABBLE , CHOR POLICE which i disliked cause i always ended up being caught and many many more games made things lively .
Not just games , but also small feast sessions were refreshing . It is here were i started to like DABELI .

One more thing that was special about our office was our TOILET .
Well it was Co-ed !!!
.. lol!! ..
I guess it's enough to understand the consequences ...
and to my shock and surprise , gals enjoyed the situation more !!!!

PS : EXCUSE ME !! PLEASE !!

THE UNPAID 4 TO 9 : ROMANTICA

Girls , since the start of human race , have always been the neccessity of life and gossip of every guy . And because of this genuine grand old tradition , they were the main source of gossips and fun in my office too . Well lotsa stories did sprout .

• JUNG - e - MOHABBAT

Well the story began with our PEPSODENT DHUSOOM DHUSOOM !! . While browsing through a book i discovered a book with many a pages reading her and Mr. BLUFFMASTER's name . The pic was clear . Since then every act of their's was seen in a specific , not so mention worthy way , mind you .. not just we boys, but also gals did that ... whatever . Now the Fun carried a newer look .
Still you guys must be thinking about the title of story . Well the main reason for this is that their way of expression of LOVE . Well the most part was done by throwing and hurling any thing grabable

... Well its kinda new concept .. most ones claim " JAAN DE DENGE " ... this couple had a different slogan - " JAAN LE LENGE "

Many a times Mr. BLUFFMASTER would stamp her foot , pull her ears ... And once , I survied the bloodshed .... free fund me mar kha jata ..phew!!

The couple , many a times slipped to a terrace floor abandoned shop , pull down the shutters , half , and ... and , am sure carried out their " MOHABBAT - e - JUNG " .

• JOHN , AT NIGHT , OVER THE PHONE

Our couple JOHN and RIMPY simply became everyone's favourite play toy . When bored the couple with be caught , teased and then .. and then ... JOHN would smile , RIMPY would laugh !! ... at the pranks made on them!!! ...

But their episode took a new shift , after office hours . Thanks to HETAL , we learnt it . JOHN was not so open minded . Every openness of RIMPY , he would admire in public , support her .

But after office hour the so called generous face turned pale and red with possesiveness and FRUSTRATION !!

Well the hidden part had initially a small reason . RIMPY and GAURAV , had grown close . Well the reason -

Sardar Sardar Chaddi Yar !!! ...

Obvious , as a consequence they enjoyed playing and gossiping . JOHN , could not witstand it , quarrelled with RIMPY , at night , over the phone ...

And to add fuel to the fire , our generous managers , always ready for the job . Mostly , done by our Mr. BLUFFMASTER . Well the man was quite loud . Such was the loudness of his voice that it send tremors round the building . Anybody crossing the office , if ever had heard ZUZZ and BUZZ , i wouldn't be surprised !!

Wonder how would have JOHN reacted , at night , over the phone when he noticed RIMPY helping me with my TIE . !!

• ANNU KI HO GAYI WAH BHAI WAH

NAVEEN always wanted somebody to carry him from his bus stop to the office . If the aftermath show was reserved for me . Who was it for the beforemath . Well , i never bothered to enquire till the date Mr. BLUFFMASTER started bullying him and annu. Our Lover boy called her up , saying that he will have to miss his lunch for his job , time factor. So he asked annu to bring him some eatables . Well , story was not just this . He even asked her to pick him up . And just Before they reached the office , they would part to pretend .

WITTY NAVEEN managed to hide things . But our ANNU .. lol !! .. but our ANNU !! ..
The Day she spoke about her caring bestesttt friend NAVEEN ... Our Manager , Mr. BLUFFMASTER turned them the Gossip Stock !!!

Thus began the Story and the TV serial " ANNU KI HO GAYI WAH BHAI WAH "

Caring NAVEEN , never stopped to care for ANNU . Not even while we enjoyed playing . They even dislike people interfering in their private gossips .


Closeness grew so much that they would embrace each other

.... WAH BHAI WAH !!! .....

Together , they would spend a lot of time , donno where?!!!

.... WAH BHAI WAH !!! ....

Gossip, over the phone, till late nights, donno what do they talk!

....WAH BHAI WAH !!! .....

These three tales of ROMANTICA makes one think and believe that LOVE is in the AIR . You breathe and you are bound to fall in LOVE.

PS : EXCUSE ME ! PLEASE !!